Colin Michael was not a "planned" baby. I was 19 years old when I found out I was pregnant with him and boy, was I scared. How was I going to support him? What would I do?
There was no question in my mind for a split second that he would be with anyone but me. I loved that little boy with every ounce of my being. Outside of terrible morning sickness the first trimester, my pregnancy with him was easy as pie. I went in to the ER around 3 months along because I was experiencing some cramping. They wheeled in the ultrasound and there he was, hiccuping and sucking his thumb.
....total euphoric love....
After a very long labor with him, Colin came kicking and screaming into the world and I was filled with a whole new sense of purpose and a whole new kind of love. As I stared into his big brown eyes and ran my fingers through his head full of hair I felt the greater meaning of life.
Soon after we returned from the hospital, I received a phone call from the pediatrician's office. Colin had galactosemia... a genetic metabolic disorder where he does not produce the enzymes to break down galactose. Over time, the galactose builds up in his system and becomes like a poison. My world came to a standstill as I heard things such as "learning disabilities, mental retardation, death." He was perfect. He was gorgeous. He was MINE. This couldn't be happening!
After seeing a genetic specialist, we learned that (praise God!) he has a mild variation of it, called duarte galactosemia. It is passed on from both parents, and although not common, his biological father and I were carriers. Because they were not testing for it until the late 1980's, and because we were both born before the routine testing began, we had no idea.
Colin was put on a galactose free diet until he reached one year of age and, on his first birthday, we were to start introducing foods that contained galactose and come in to run tests again to see if he could tolerate them.
No need for the testing... after a rush to the ER (because he was barely breathing after some yogurt before his nap and his skin was so swollen it was a dark shade of plum) we discovered that Colin is allergic to milk.
Raising Colin as a single mom did not come without it's challenges. There were many sleepless nights, many days I didn't eat because I'd rather sleep, and working two part time jobs while I went through school and a divorce was by no means easy.
But I wouldn't change it for the world. He has truly been my saving grace.
These days, Colin is in the 1st grade and exceptionally smart. He has a wonderful sense of humor, and compassionate heart, and his little brain is faster than my calculator.
Colin has wanted a brother or sister for the longest time..... and here is where Gabrielle Elizabeth enters the picture.
My husband and I were married, after knowing each other for 4 years, on November 27, 2010. We had the big church wedding and all, and it was such a beautiful day that I will always remember. My husband, Mark, is one of the most understanding, forgiving, and loving souls that I have ever known. He has accepted Colin as his own and loves that little boy with every ounce of his being.... and believe me when I tell you that Colin reciprocates those feelings. Daddy and Colin are two peas in a pod.... to the point where sometimes I even feel left out! I couldn't ask for a better husband, companion, or father for my children.
And so, with that being said, we decided to start trying right away. After December's cycle I drove myself crazy with pregnancy tests... to no avail.
I told myself to take a chill pill.... I stopped watching cycle days. I told myself to just enjoy the whole process.
At family member's wedding shower (who is one of my best friends and I adore.... more about her later) I saw this little girl dressed up in the cutest winter coat and little fur hat on.... and for whatever reason I started wondering if I was pregnant. When the little girl looked at me it took my breath away and really made me start thinking about whether I should test.
I ran home to get "the boys" as we were going to a Super Bowl party and kept telling myself it was too early and to quit doing this to myself. If I missed a period then I would test.... or so was my agreement with myself at the time.
I went to work the next day, and as I ran out on my lunch break I had this overwhelming urge to take a test. As I looked down the aisle of wide selection, and promised myself not to buy 5 boxes like I had the previous month, I finally selected a box of two tests. Even though I had told myself to wait until the next morning.
Anyone that knows me knows that a pact like that (especially made between me, myself, and I) won't fly. Who was I kidding? I ran to the nearest bathroom and told myself I wouldn't look until the 3 minutes was up (again, another bogus pact)....
And there it was. Two gorgeous pink lines stared back at me.... and on came the tears of joy and pleasure and complete happiness.
I wheeled around that store grabbing anything that said "I love Daddy" on it, a book for Colin about being a big brother, some Valentine's Day cards, one for each of my guys, and Valentine's gift bags and tissue paper. I thought, as we were about a week away from Valentine's Day, that I would set it up as an early Valentine's Day gift.
I wrote Mark and Colin a message from the baby, followed with "Can't wait to meet you in October!" and wrapped up the gifts, jumping with joy and watching the clock tick until it was time to go home.
Colin, as always, was excited at the thought of a gift. My husband gave me the "She's crazy and she's lost her mind" look when I kept pressing him to open his.
Watching his face as he read the card is still one of my most beloved memories. The look of...."what? Wait, I'm confused.... is she serious? Oh my gosh.... she's really serious?" will forever remain with me. We started crying and laughing and smiling, and Colin was so tickled to finally be a big brother like he had always wanted.
"Momma, all of my intentions at church have been that I have a brother or sister!" to which I replied "See honey, God really does listen to our prayers!"
This was Gabby's first gift to us. Our first glimspe of joy and love and hope that I cherish and replay over and over again in my mind.
And Gabrielle, my sweet little girl, thank you honey. Thank you for giving us that day. It will forever be one of my favorites.
My heart, as always,
Momma
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