I cried myself to sleep that night..... this would be a common trend in the weeks and months to come. I cried myself until the total point of exhaustion. I cried out to God to please let me see my baby.... just once. My eyes were nearly swollen shut from all of the tears and I finally gave in to the exhaustion that was pulling me in.
I've always been a firm believer in dreams. Not all of them have meaning... but there are always those few that stay with you. Tonight was one of those nights.
At some point in the wee hours of the morning, I had a dream that I was playing with my son and a bunch of other little children... some I recognized and some I didn't. Colin was a few years older in the dream, maybe 9 or 10. We were all playing hide and go seek and everyone was laughing and having a great time.
Then it was my turn to be "it". I started counting, chuckling to myself about how ridiculous this game is but the kids just love it, and once time was up I started out on my hunt for the munchkins.
I moved past a bush and heard the sweetest little giggle. I saw the most adorable little girl, just a few years old, with a short little bob of brown hair and the most beautiful blue eyes. I'd never seen her before. I asked what her name was and she gave me a sheepish grin and said "Gabby."
"Well hi Gabby. I'm Kelly. It's nice to meet you. You have such pretty blue eyes."
What the little girl in my dream said to me next blew me away.
She started giggling, and said "I know who you are Momma. Daddy gave me his eyes."
I stood there in shock and she ran away from me, screaming out to the other kids "She's coming, she's coming! Hide!" and once I finally understood what she said I started running after her, screaming her name. Colin ran up to me and asked what was wrong. I asked him where Gabby went. He looked at me and said, "Mom, Gabby's dead."
And I woke up. In cold sweats and shivering and in tears.
Where did Gabby come from? I don't know any Gabby's. If we were having a girl the name we had always picked out was Charlotte.
I realize that God had answered my prayers. He allowed me to see my daughter just as I had asked. And let me tell you something.....
She's gorgeous.
And so, my sweet baby girl, thank you for coming to visit me that night. I needed to see you. You're one pretty little lady. Thank you for such an amazing gift.
P.S. I will catch you in hide and go seek when I meet you up there.... just so you know.
Love,
Momma
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