STRESS

I am so incredibly stressed. I am emotionally and physically drained and feel like I'm on the edge of a total melt down.

Through all of my best rest my work has been far from understanding. The day I came back I was written up and was told "this really doesn't look good for you". The hired a temp 2 days before I was due back at work. They never called or responded to my e-mails. Nope. Just hired a temp and then wanted to punish me for it.

The temp has been gone for a few weeks now. The whole experience left a sour taste in my mouth. I used up all of the PTO and sick time I had at the time. Believe me... I would have much rather used my vacation for an actual vacation.

I had terrible stomach pains earlier today. It felt like contractions. This is my fourth pregnancy and I've never felt anything like this before, other than when I was in labor with my son some 6 years ago.

They did an ultrasound and the baby was fine. Heart was still beating. He/she measured at 13w6d. They want me to go have a special sort of ultrasound done at the hospital. Everyone was booked. The only time I can get in is in two days. They told me to get there at 7am and they can get me out at 8 so I can still make it to work by 8:30.

We all know how hospitals work. I won't get out of there on time, no matter how early I get there. Which will make me late to work, which will most likely get me fired.

I can't lose my job right now. We need the money. Who is going to hire a pregnant woman? I am up a shit creek without a paddle.

I'm doing what I need to do for my health and for my baby... so why does my work try to make me choose between my baby and them? I'm doing the best I can possibly do, and it's just never EVER enough.